July 2023 - Boundaries
Boundaries are always about you and never about the other person.
Boundaries give you the ability to be real, genuine, and honest in your relationships - and all these things lead to a healthy relationship. It's a way to honor other people, as well as yourself. They are about being self-aware, knowing your limits, respecting them, and loving them.
Because each of us is created differently, we all have different limits. So boundaries help to ensure we are living our lives within our own limits. And if you don't have healthy boundaries for yourself, you open yourself up to harm by others.
Boundary setting is a skill, and it's a skill you can learn. So, here are some tips for boundary setting:
Listen to yourself. No other person knows you better than you know yourself, so you have to be clear on your own limits.
Interact with the other person. After you've become clear on your own limits, you can communicate with the other person. The focus here is to respond but not react. "I" statements can also be a helpful tool.
Create the boundary. This process resembles a line down a page - it separates you from the other person and defines where you end and the other person begins.
Boundary is not a wall or a barrier, it is a simple way to recognize that we are each separate beings. That line helps me take ownership and responsibility for my portion of the boundary and the other person to take ownership and responsibility for their portion.
Boundary setting is a personal process, as everyone's boundaries may differ, but no matter what - it is always about you managing and taking ownership over your own life. So take a look at your own relational boundaries because it's one of the best things that you can do for yourself and your relationships!
